It’s not all roses
As you might imagine, as a health care professional in this setting, you’re going to come in contact with some unsavory experiences.
And I have.
At times, a dichotomy exists between how a person behaves and the reason they’re incarcerated.
I don’t make it a point to know the reason my patients are locked up, particularly when it comes to death row. It helps me be impartial and just help the person in need in front of me.
Sometimes after working with a patient several times, I wonder, “gosh, he seems so nice and respectful, I’m curious how he got here.”
In only one instance have I thought, “oh, that’s not good, but it’s not that bad.“
The remaining instances I wish I hadn’t taken the extra step to Google them. It will leave me feeling a little less safe in this world, because now I know what’s possible. And the next time I work with them, I know I’m a little more stand offish.
When I happen to catch their background in a psych note, I can’t help but think that the young person that did those things, never had a chance to be a good human. They grew up in awful, awful circumstances. It doesn’t excuse what they did.
However, it does help explain why they sometimes behave erratically. Nice one moment. But then when they don’t get what they want, all the niceties go out the door.
At times, I’m not going to lie, it makes me frustratingly mad. We’re there to help them and then some trigger sets off. It’s turned into a bigger issue and there’s no reasoning them back down. At that point, my response is saying I’m not going to respond to this behavior and promptly as possible, leave the room.
And believe me, I don’t want to see that person again. But at times I’m called back for a follow-up evaluation for something else. I dread it. Sometimes I’m surprised by a completely unexpected apology. I gladly accept it, but I know I’m still walking on unsteady territory. So I tread cautiously.
At times I’ll be working with an older patient, and I just don’t have any inclination to know why he’s here. It couldn’t possibly be that bad.
Until the officer that’s been here a long time comes by after that patient is escorted back to his cell. “You just worked with one of the most twisted individuals here.”
Ok, well now I have to know. He tells me. And then I Google later. Yes, it’s that bad. Worse. Criminal mind movie-quality worse.
It’s something that any of us here at the prison have to contend with on a daily basis.
Let’s be clear, these are incarcerated individuals in the now defunct death row, now lifers without parole. These are not the individuals walking around as Level 2. There is always an officer or two with them and it’s my choice to keep them cuffed or not.
At some point they will all be transferred out to more maximum security prisons. But for now, they will show up on our cue to work with them for various PT needs.
And I will be impartial and professional towards the person in front of me, regardless of what I know of their past. As long as they are respectful in the moment, we move forward.
*just to note, I’ll be leaving out the name of the institution that I work at. It’s a state prison for reference. Images are not from the prison as no devices are allowed in.
Prison PT 
Leave a comment