Prison PT

Found connections

It’s no surprise that connection to others is important when it comes to well being. And that’s the business I’m in….helping others find a way to be well again.

I won’t claim that I can help every patient find this, because being well is complicated, because being human, is complicated.

And these individuals in particular either grew up in traumatic households (or without a home) or they managed to find their way into situations and decisions where they ended up on the wrong side of freedom. Add to that trauma, the trauma of living on the inside.

It’s one of the reasons I ask my patients if they have a buddy, a confidante, a certain someone they can talk to on the inside. Being able to trust may not be something they’ve experienced before. And finding that kind of trust in prison isn’t easy.

In a population of nearly 4700, it can be a lonely place for some.

They received tablets this past week which will give them access to music, movies, podcasts, emailing and the Calm App just to name a few. But perhaps the most important new access points in the tablets are phone and video calls. This is huge since lining up for phone use daily is a big point of contention. And some of them haven’t actually “seen” their family members since they’ve been down for some 20+ years.

One of my patients looked visibly down this past week. I asked how he was doing and he said he was ok. He was going through a divorce. “Ok,” I said, “so, not ok. I feel for you.” Later I asked if he was excited about the new tablets. He said, “yeah they’re ok. But I realized that there was no one for me to call.”

Heart strings pulled. “Well, what about your mom?,” I said. “Yeah, I guess I can call my mom.”

I encouraged him that you don’t need to have 100 people on your friend list to call. You just need one really good one… someone you trust and who will listen compassionately and who you care about and cares for you. I know this won’t make his heart mend any faster. Just trying to encourage connection to bolster him up. This is whole person care, after all.

Another patient I have is all about finding someone to connect to. In fact, he can’t talk about anything else during our sessions. It’s like, “yeah, yeah, my knee hurts. But I’m looking for love.”

He enlightened me about Write a Prisoner. He’s got a profile there and he’s really looking for a partner. He’s a lifer and knows he can’t find the connection he needs with other incarcerated individuals here.

I mentioned to him about one of my condemned patients that told me he got married while in prison. I was so intrigued. He met a woman in Europe and they got married. And she moved here to live closer to him.

He said he knows 5 guys that got married in prison. And he wants to be one of them. So yes it does happen.

Hey, if you’re interested in connecting to a prisoner, it can be just to be a pen pal and for no other reason, check out https://writeaprisoner.com/.

Whether my patients have a chance at parole or are lifers, connection and good quality relationships are so important to being well.

It’s the ones that don’t have this that I worry about. And when it comes to them, I make sure they’re telling their mental health professional all the things they tell me in our session….from a bleak perspective on life after being turned down at their last parole hearing to not wanting to get out of bed all day because of some other bad news they got.

As a team perhaps we can lift them back into programs and help them find purpose and connection again. One such patient came back the next week, with spirits lifted, saying he was attending mental health programming and signed up to be a mentor.

In a sea of 4700, they can find someone who cares and maybe even loves them….any little bit helps them to stay afloat.

*just to note, I’ll be leaving out the name of the institution that I work at. It’s a state prison for reference. Images are not from the prison as no devices are allowed in.

caring for the incarcerated

Prison PT