commencement
This might be a strange place to post a commencement speech, but the topic is worthy of this blog.
I was recently invited back to my alma mater, UCSF, to be the Alumni Keynote Speaker for the 2024 Doctorate of Physical Therapy graduating class. They were interested in the professional trajectory I have taken, especially in regards to working with the population who are incarcerated.
And here is what I presented to some 400 people on the graduates celebratory day.
‘Unchained Opportunity’
I’m honored and grateful to have been invited to share in this momentous day with all of you. Life seems to be full of, “I’d never thought I’d…..” be doing this. So thank you.
One of my patients came in for his first visit and was asking questions like he was a newbie at the prison. On the contrary, he’d been on death row at San Quentin for 40 some years, living in a 4×10 space.
At age 48 it never ceases to floor me that some of my patients have been there for almost my life time.
This patient had his sentence reduced so he’s now in the the “mainline ” or the general population and this was why he was asking about how things work.
He now has a chance to sit before the parole board. I asked him, “what’s the first thing you want to do if you’re released?” Most say they’re going to eat a big steak dinner or sleep in a real bed.
He said, as though he’d thought about this intently, “I just want to open a door on my own.”
Literally, because in prison, you rarely open a door on your own, especially if you’re on death row. And he was escorted at the time the officers used to shout out, “dead man walking” whenever they were escorted anywhere outside their cells. Now they use the word, “Escort”…..a little more humane.
You’re about to embark on a compassion-filled profession, where you have the opportunity to be part of your patients most memorable moments. Sometimes it’ll feel like you’re not helping that person in front of you. But trust that you’re handing them a key to doors that you may never see opened.
An open door is a symbol of freedom. Your own free will. Choice. Opportunity.
Consider all the doors you’ve opened to find yourself here, right now. Some you had opened for you–a helping hand, a mentor, life circumstances (wanted and unwanted) and others, you busted through, all on your own.
It can be nerve racking to know which door to walk through and which to turn your back on. I know you made a hard decision to come to UCSF and study physical therapy …..now, more decisions await you.
When it comes to my career path, I’ve been a little unconventional. I wasn’t really cheered on to my pursuits, but I did them anyway. Especially when it came to prison. No one said, “yeah, that sounds like a great idea, go do that.”
I never thought I’d …..be working with individuals who are incarcerated. And now I think, I got into this too late, because I really enjoy it.
Owning my own business, which, by the way, I also never thought I’d do….my dad asked me on graduation day, in this very same building in 2007, if I’d ever thought of owning my own business. My answer: an emphatic, NO, because I never imagined it could be how I created it…..a solo practioner business without employees, out of the binds of insurance, incorporating yoga therapy as lifestyle coaching.
I’m going to be honest….when I began to have thoughts that I’d done all this work to develop the business, I felt……it was wasted. But…. I’ll tell you now, I have no regrets and I don’t miss anything I’ve left behind.
As you’ve likely found in your own journey and as one of the ancient Hindu scriptures, the Bhagavad Gita speaks of, “on this path, no effort is wasted, and there is no failure.”
The profession is vast. There are so many opportunities. After having worked in nearly every setting, including hospice and telehealth, your career path doesn’t have to follow just one thing. I’ve been a bit of a dabbler. And yet, it’s also worthy to find one population you’re passionate about and grow with that.
Whatever you choose to do, where ever you choose to work, it’s the right thing for the time. You’ll build skills that you take forward and some you leave behind.
I don’t think I would’ve been ready to take the next steps to my next venture…..
Without the trauma informed yoga therapy, the experience in being self reliant in my business and management skills…. I just wouldn’t have been ready to step through the gates to working at the prison.
One major driver of moving onward was to work with an underserved population. Returning to UCSF for alumni events and teaching the students….I’ve been impressed with the university, which is modeling ways to help those most underserved.
Most of my career has been in service to those who were well resourced. And now, working at San Quentin, I’d say about 90% of my patients had never been to a doctor, never had their eyes or teeth checked and most definitely had not seen a physical therapist.
I often joke that I was freed by going to prison.
But you don’t need to go to prison to help the underserved. (Loved ones, breathe a sigh of relief).
You could find this population at your local skilled nursing facility or a county hospital like our local Zuckerberg or Highland, as well as in home health in most cities, or by working in the Central Valley.
But prison culture is definitely unique, something I also sought in my next venture…..not the prison culture, but the uniqueness. I was only given a few instructions upon starting:
- Don’t wear prison colors: no orange, blue, white, yellow, military green, heather gray or denim.
- Don’t talk about your personal life.
- Don’t give or take gifts or favors.
- I was told I’d be given a safety button only to be told 2 days after starting that no, actually you need to get a safety whistle.
- Close the door when you’re alone.
- Don’t bring in your cell phone (actually kind of a blessing).
- Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Remember where you work.
I was terrified that first week, maybe two.
It will change your perspective and open up doors to thoughts you never thought you’d have. Empathy for people you’d probably run from on the streets.
Not to glorify prison AT ALL. I grapple daily with the curiosity, “what if I was the victim? What if people I cared about were the victims of this person’s crime?” I don’t really know the answer. I hope I never do. Sometimes I’ve cried with them in empathy and with others I’ve been sick to my stomach.
I often ask my lifers, “what keeps you going?” The common answers: hope for something better, family–kids, grand kids, and spiritual beliefs.
It’s interesting that these are the things that also help us, and our patients going through a painful experience, one that often draws them to physical therapy.
Hope, and our connections, leave the door open to strive for something beyond ourselves. Something to hold us up and to move us forward.
Just as you’re moving forward on your journey from this moment….hope for the next steps, to finally put all your knowledge into action.
At least once a week I hear from one of my patients’ who’s incarcerated, how much they appreciate when someone like myself or a free staffer or volunteer asks them how they are. Or engages in a “normal” conversation with them, treating them as a human. I get this a lot, “you’re the only normal person I talk to here.” Pretty striking for a place with 4700+ individuals. They’re so grateful for this and it can change their day, their week, their entire outlook. It can be a pretty lonely place for some.
You’re going to build that trust and humanity with your patients, just by being present for them.
I always try to see the person in front of me. You have to working in prison. You can’t see what their crime is (though believe me, that’s really hard sometimes when you know).
It’s with empathy that we sit in this profession.
I often use the quote from one of my favorite spiritual teachers of yoga, Ram Dass, “we’re all just walking each other home.”
So I encourage you to:
- Use your empathy muscles, it’s not “them,” it’s “us,” as we could be in their shoes with a left turn instead of a right.
- Remain humble…..we can ALWAYS know more. And don’t be ashamed to admit that.
- Remain hopeful for yourself and your patients….it’s what keep us resilient.
- Don’t be afraid to close one door so you can open another. You may be walking TOWARDS opportunity rather than away from it.
- And stay connected to your UCSF community. You never know where….. that will take you.
Wishing you a deep, heartfelt and well deserved, Congratulations!
*just to note, I’ll be leaving out the name of the institution that I work at. It’s a state prison for reference. Images are not from the prison as no devices are allowed in.
Prison PT 
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